Correlating Relationship Entitlement Sores

See how you would score on each one by rating each statement below from 1 (not at all) to 5 (very much)

Subscale 1

  1. I’m often preoccupied with the question of whether my partner is good enough for me.

  2. Sometimes I feel my partner is not good enough for me.

  3. I am obsessed with my partner’s faults.

  4. When my partner frustrates me, I contemplate ending the relationship.

  5. When my partner frustrates me, I start thinking about new relationships.

  6. When my partner hurts me, I’m immediately filled with a sense of distrust.

  7. I often feel I deserve to get more than I do from my relationship.

  8. In my relationship, I’m sometimes filled with a kind of rage that I hardly ever experience in daily life

Subscale 2

  1. I have high expectations of my partner.

  2. I expect my partner to understand me without my having to explain myself.

  3. I can’t give up my expectations of my partner in a relationship.

  4. I expect my partner to be very attentive to me.

Subscale 3

  1. Sometimes I feel I am not good enough for my partner.

  2. I’m often preoccupied with the question of whether I deserve my partner.

  3. I feel my partner deserves to get more than he or she does from our relationship.

  4. Subscale 4

  5. I insist on getting what I deserve out of my relationship.

  6. I deserve a partner who is very sensitive.

  7. I think my partner is lucky to be with me.

  8. I won’t make do with less than what I deserve in my relationship.

Now total up your scores for each of the subscales.

To interpret your own score, here is some detail on what each subscale represents:

  • Subscale 1: Excessive entitlement. People scoring high on excessive entitlement, as you can see from the items comprising this subscale, probably come closest to the notion of the “entitled narcissist.” In their relationships, much as in their lives in general, they behave as though the world owes them something because they are so much better than everyone else. This gets played out with their partners in ways such as feeling they deserve the “best,” whatever that might be, and they are constantly ready to move on in case something better comes along. They see their partner’s flaws, but not their own.

  • Subscale 2: Entitlement expectations. This subscale refers to the tendency to have expectations for your partner’s behavior toward you. People with high scores on this subscale feel that their partner should provide them with attention and understanding—perhaps more than they deserve.

  • Subscale 3: Restricted entitlement. The items in this subscale tap into whether you feel that your partner deserves more than you do. People who score high on these items feel inhibited in their ability to meet their needs, wishes, and expectations in a relationship. The term “restricted" here means that individuals who agree with these items are literally unable to say what they want and need out of their partners.

  • Subscale 4: Assertive entitlement. By agreeing with these items, individuals are expressing their belief that their needs in a relationship should be met. Although the items by themselves seem similar to those of excessive entitlement, George-Levi and coauthors maintain that there’s something healthy about being able to stand up for your rights in a relationship. If you don't, you might become one of the restricted entitlement group at the opposite end of the scale, who cannot make their needs known to their partners.

Resource: The sense of relational entitlement is the perception one has of what one deserves from one's partner, and it may play a crucial role in determining the quality of a couple's relationship. This concept has studied and researched and published by American Phycology Association. Read the article